Living will form (Medical humour)

LIVING WILL FORM

I, ______________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology, if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
______ a Martini ______ a Margarita ____ a Scotch and soda ______ a Bloody Mary ______ a Gin and Tonic _______ a Cuppa ______ a Steak ______ Lobster or crab legs ______ the remote control ______ a bowl of ice cream ______ the sports page______ sex ______ or chocolate, it should be presumed that I won’t ever get any better.

 

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the Scots Highlander Bagpipe Band to come do their thing at my funeral and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

 

 

Signature:__________________________ Date: _________________________

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